The Biggest Question of All: Part 4

“Honey, on Friday, since we have a day off at school, I am going to a conference at the Presbyterian Seminary. Would you be interested in going? It is about getting to know the who the Holy Spirit is.” 

I had only one ticket, but since I was pretty sure my husband was still on the page of feeling that most religious people were hypocritical, I felt that I probably wouldn’t need to find another ticket.

“No. Go ahead if you want to go. I have to study, and I have a class that afternoon.”

With that I was free to pursue this possible way to find out if God really existed or not. If Ellen and her husband were interested in the same thing maybe there was something to it. Maybe this was not a fable or a chase into the dark hole of unreality.

I was looking forward to Friday.

Friday morning dawned sunny and warm, and Spring was showing up in the tiny leaves on bushes and trees and the multi-colored crocuses and the yellow forsythia. I put on appropriate clothes for a semi-church affair, put the top down on the MG, and headed out to see what I could find out about God. 

The Presbyterian Seminary was in an area of the city that several colleges and universities as well as many professors and artists and the like called home. Having had two parents who were college professors and having lived in just such a section of my hometown, plus the fact that I had grown up most of my life attending Presbyterian Churches, I really felt that I was in familiar surroundings. This made the fact that I was on such a strange mission less stressful. Is there a God?? Who knew? Could I find out? Who knew?!

The campus of the Seminary was full of people. I was surprised at how many people seemed to be attending an event that until the past Wednesday I had never even known existed about a Holy Spirit that until this past Sunday I had never thought twice about. And it was as if we were all going to a concert or sporting event. The excitement and the joy that were in the voices and the faces of the people streaming into the large auditorium were palpable. I had never attended a church service in my life that had people as excited as these people were. I saw Catholic nuns and priests talking to ministers who were obviously from Protestant denominations. I saw two Jewish men who were wearing their yarmulkes and prayer shawls walking with Episcopal priests in their white collars and purple shirts into the building. This was most interesting! But the general crowd was made up of people like me, except that so many of them were super happy to be just where they were at that moment. It was like they had come expecting to see something exciting. I couldn’t imagine what that could be. All my life church meetings and services had been more about doing a “good” and “right but boring” thing. These people seemed to be in a way different mindset! 

The large auditorium was packed. Luckily I had come early and had my ticket clutched in my hand as I got to the door, because many people were asked to move into overflow rooms set up for just that purpose where the conference main speakers were being shown on large screens. And the people seemed content enough even if they didn’t get into the main room. Weird!! Why so many people? What was this all about? 

The lights in the auditorium dimmed and a choir began to sing. “Oh Happy Day! Oh Happy Day...!” the songs were joyous, foot-tapping, uplifting songs, and most of the people seemed to know all the words. Unbidden tears started to come to my eyes. Oh how I wanted to know this “Jesus who washed my sins away” that they were singing about. How did they seem to know him – when I didn’t? How could they find him – when I couldn’t?

The speakers all told stories and quoted things from their Bibles and spoke about the Father God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. It seemed that they knew a lot about this God who was one Being made up of three distinct Personalities. It was a mystery to me. And I had no idea what or how any of these people could be so sure that God even existed. Who had ever seen him?? Who could be sure of anything you couldn’t see or touch?  What was I doing expecting such a Being to prove to me that he was real? Was I crazy? Was I expecting the impossible? Were all of these people crazy? Were they talking about something that was a figment of their imaginations, as my own father thought?

All these relevant questions flooded through my mind, but tears were still flowing down my cheeks in an embarrassing way, and my heart was full of a yearning that I couldn’t explain and didn’t want to deny even as I did deny it. 

The day ended with people being told they could go forward for prayer to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit.